IPODs are Not Essential For Life (unless we are talking about mine, that is)

MEMO

DATE: FEBRUARY 12, 2009
TO: JASON & SARAH
FROM: THE MAD STEPMOTHER
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Please be advised that, despite information from friends to the contrary, IPODS and their accompanying earbuds do not provide energy, nourishment, or the increased ability to obliterate colorful cartoon creatures who breathe acidic fire.

Therefore, it is important to note that you will not fall into an instantaneous coma if the earbuds are removed, or the IPOD is (gasp) turned OFF.

It is especially essential to consider this when you are being spoken to by another member of your family. Additionally, if the author of this Memo (aka Mad Stepmother) has to again repeat herself a 4th time because the 8th Chapter of Harry Potter is more important that whatever trivial thing she might be mouthing, you will then become witness to her head popping off.
In case you are wondering: this is not a good thing.
Such an event would no doubt render your IPODs unusable, as it is often hard to turn them on after they have accidentally been through the garbage disposal.

Thank you for your consideration to this matter.
I know I can count on your kind cooperation.